I wish everything was as easy as gaining weight.
Seriously, I am the only person I know who can literally gain five pounds overnight because of a rogue crouton the was hidden under a piece of ranch drenched romaine.
But there has been a lot of those pesky hidden breadcrumbs over the last few years and I have gotten quite pudgy.
It’s one of those things that creeps up on you. Or in my case, you realize you’ve put on a few pounds but have every intention of getting the weight off as soon as some holiday passes.
Then, you look at the calendar and realize your husband and Mama have their birthdays just days apart, so there will be cake – twice.
Even though I may not see Mama on her birthday, I still want to celebrate.
And then the child’s birthday is right there at the beginning of October, which kicks off candy month.
It has been four years of finding reasons to put my regular, formally healthier way of eating on hiatus.
Did I mention I have suspected celiac or at least some kind of severe gluten intolerance that should make me avoid anything that tastes good?
Over the last four years, I have not only gained weight, I have always pretty much spent most of my days sitting on my tater.
Throw in the fact my hormones are all out of whack and guess what you’ve got?
A middle-aged woman wearing a lot of leggings, that’s what you’ve got.
I knew I was no longer fitting in my former smaller sized clothing, but I didn’t realize how out of shape I had gotten.
Not that I was running triathlons or anything before, but I was a bit more active.
I walked a few times a week at the park and did yoga, even though I usually fell asleep on the yoga mat with my Border Collie more than anything else.
Sitting for the majority of your day for four years takes it toll.
Apparently, it is as bad for your health as smoking, something I gave up several years ago and promptly gained five pounds.
When I started my new job several months ago, I was worried about having to walk two flights of stairs.
Yes, there is an elevator.
It’s at the other end of the hall where I go in and I am too lazy to walk that far to get on it. And elevators have always freaked me out a little bit, too.
My biggest nightmare was finally getting to the landing and having to have an actual conversation with someone.
I was grossly out of shape.
One of my dear friends who has supported my fluctuations in weight had encouraged me that having stairs in my work place would be a sure- fire way for me to lose the weight.
Not if the only reason you are going up and down the stairs is to get to the candy bowl on a friend’s desk downstairs.
I didn’t lose weight; I thankfully didn’t gain either, despite the frequent trips for bite sized 3 Musketeers and Almond Joys.
And then, something serendipitous happened.
We had a FitBit Challenge.
I am not competitive with other people, but I do love having a goal for myself.
Since I clearly didn’t reach the 10,000 recommended steps a day, I was worried I would be able to do this.
The first day, I had under 5,000 steps.
Same the second day, but I did notice I got more steps in when I went to the grocery store, especially when I was on one side of the store and realized I needed something that was on the other end.
“I’m sore and I barely walked half of what I am supposed to,” I whined.
I didn’t really get much empathy.
Then, a miraculous thing happened on Day 3.
I decided I needed to do some cleaning, rare, I know.
Within a few hours, I had racked up quite a few steps.
It motivated me to keep going until, the little wristband erupted in fireworks, telling me I had met my goal of 10,000 steps.
“I will be skinny tomorrow!” I squealed.
More than likely it won’t be tomorrow. But the journey there begins with the first 10,000 steps.