The last few days, I have watched friends I graduated high school with ready their children for college.
I am not sure how this is possible since 1991 was really only 5 years ago so this seems to defy the laws of time.
But there they are, dropping off kids at their dorms hours away and into impending adulthood.
And it dawned on me: they are still babies.
Sure, when I graduated high school, I was ready to take on the world.
I think it mainly stemmed from being young and foolish enough to think I was invincible and that I was going to solve the world’s problems.
I knew everything, too.
Lord, have mercy at the depths and expanse of my omnipotent knowledge or lack thereof.
“I’m not quite sure why you going to school; you know everything,” Granny snorted one day.
I really thought I did.
So much so that I dropped out after my first quarter of paralegal studies because the classes started too early.
“Who can think that cussed early in the morning?” I asked.
Granny was furious; Mama, said nothing at first, until she got the phone bill. It was $8,926,274.12.
Or at least you would have thought it was given the hissy fit the crazy redhead pitched.
“Since you are taking some time to find yourself, you can find a job in the meantime,” she announced with aplomb one afternoon.
“I am your child; I should be able to reflect and be introspective on what I want to be when I grow up,” was my response.
“I can’t think of any better way to find out what you want to be than to learn what you sure don’t want.” She tossed the paper on my bed. “There’s the want ads; find yourself a job by the end of this week or the phone will be thrown out.”
She always struck a low blow, threatening my phone, my life line to the outer world beyond the graffiti walls of my bedroom.
I sighed. I had to get a job.
How was I going to find myself if I had to get a job?
But find one I did, waitressing during the lunch rush at a local restaurant.
When I complained about being tired and how customers were rude and demanding, Mama just asked me if I was ready to go back to school.
“I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be. It’s not fair to make an 18-year-old figure out what they want to be the rest of their life,” I told her, stomping into my room.
The next phone bill was $9,308, 237.11. (This was when it was long distance to call everywhere except your city and my future ex-husband was at school, 2 hours away.)
“You need to get another job,” Mama said, tossing the paper on my bed again.
“What!? Why?” I whined. “I can’t work another job!”
“Then get one full time job,” she said. “You only work part-time and aren’t in school; you can get another one. Or I will yank the phone out of the wall.”
So I got another job. And another.
I think at one time, I had about 37 part-time jobs.
I was exhausted.
“I’m going back to school,” I whined one day. “This working thing is killing me.”
“Have you figured out what you want to be when you grow up?” she asked.
Oh, heavens no. But I had a clear idea of what I didn’t.
The thought of sharing a communal shower and a room smaller than the one I grew up in did not appeal to me, so I commuted four days a week for four years.
When I graduated that sweltering hot day in June, I just knew I was officially grown and ready to take the world by storm. Before, I thought I was ready; now I was.
I walked out of the Macon auditorium and it hit me: I was really still just a baby.
I didn’t even know how to turn on utilities, how was I going to take on the world?
I was scared and didn’t know what I was doing but again, armed with foolish bravado I thought I could do anything. I’d figure it out, right?
Thankfully, I had the fallacy of my youth on my side to help cushion my errors.
But, it was that year off that helped me grow the most.
Mama taught me the most important lessons of all; she knew working some hard jobs would be good for me, would teach me how to deal with the public, and help me figure out what I wanted to be. She didn’t let me just wallow in my own ruminations either; she is not one to entertain apathy.
She let me think I knew everything while she quietly showed me I didn’t.
She also knew it would keep me off the phone so the bill didn’t go up into the billions.
As I think of all the college freshmen starting school this month, I think they have the whole world ahead of them and I envy that time in their lives.
It’s a scary, exciting, exhilarating time, and I am sure a few probably feel like that they know everything, like I did.
And at least, briefly, for a while, they will.